Oh, she’s a wild one alright.
A real free spirit, and so fancy!
Bubbly and bright, wicked funny, Victoria is the life & soul of every party!
*air kiss, pleasure to meet you...
Hi there, Lovely. It’s true! It’s all true, but it’s all true to an extent.
Sassy and edgy, stylish and indulgent, that’s how others have always experienced me, myself included.
Except when I didn’t …
When I found myself at a spot where I’d become a social butterfly with heavy wings, experiencing anxiety, even developing a phobia of flying (something I did all the time), I didn’t connect my outward symptoms as reflections of my inner state.
I was utterly blind to self-work, and rather oblivious to my sense of self on the whole.
So when clients come to me with a feeling of unease, a melancholy they can’t quite put their finger on, a want for something they can’t seem to identify … believe me, I understand. Because back then? I ignored symptoms and squashed those fuckers without even recognising that’s what I was doing.
I’d been slapping my self-worth around like it was in a catfight on Dallas, only I didn’t know that then. I didn’t yet understand self-esteem — or recognise its starring role in the quality of our entire lives.
Looking back, I can see how amazing my life was in so many ways. Born into the fashion industry, my parents had been designers and owned stores so I was raised around runways, catering to style and all things image. I was living and breathing the excitement of the whole industry.
The way it all looked (even to myself), the travelling, partying, fast pace, work was great, and I was living a charmed life.
I’d met my now-husband, we bought a house, planned our wedding, travelled together, all positive things. Nevermind that in a short time span my whole life changed, nor the nagging sense that something was off...
Burying my head, keeping busy, always at the gym, partying, living loud … and utterly ignoring anything I was feeling inside. I didn’t stop long enough to take a good look at myself until my mind made me stop: cue a sudden panic attack when boarding a plane, an episode I ignored and it developed further in the guise of a phobia of flying and eventually general daily anxiety that affected my work, my social life, everything.
At one point, I’d become so low I didn’t like to go places alone. My general anxiety led to a point where I felt physically ill every day.
It’s like my brain was looking me square in the eye saying, “Ok, Victoria. Stop and listen to me.”
And when I didn’t, “Ok, fine. Here's gripping anxiety - you can deal with that until you listen. I’ll be over here waiting for you to help a girl out."
I never stopped long enough to look at myself, until I did.
And when I did, what stared back at me were truths that I knew deep down I could no longer ignore. I lived a personal paradox: Happily (numb) living out loud on the surface (lost inside). How had I gotten here, exactly?
Yet here I was. My own worst critic. Overthinking everything, always, the thoughts inside my own head were rarely positive. Sew in a custom case of imposter syndrome as I’d convinced myself that working for my family showed I had no skills of my own. My need for perfectionism drove me to continually strive for more, better, faster in a job and industry I secretly longed to leave. But, how? I saw myself as only average (and surely not destined to amount to much). I felt stuck, and I didn’t feel capable of anything bigger than where I felt stuck - which was everywhere.
"Good God, Victoria! Why do you fill your mind with such shit?
Give your mind some flowers"
(*my sister, Rachel, who saw in me what I couldn't at the time, thank God.)
Back then, life coaching wasn’t something I’d even heard of.
The MindFlowers process I share today (inspired by my delicious sister) was in rough form, but still — I began to put conscious effort into my inner self.
Letting myself see myself.
Taking small but determined steps to actually like me.
And something beautiful began to take hold:
I put on my favourite dress - a gift from a designer we worked with and it was as whimsical and free-spirited as I was desperate to actually be again. I accompanied my husband to a meeting in the city that day, and while he was there I went to my favourite bar. I sat outside and it was the first time I ever had a fully mindful moment.
I felt the sun on my skin, enjoyed the goosebumps I got from the breeze, watched people going about their everyday lives and realised — I don’t want to live like this anymore. I want to stop this relentless negative self-talk. I have so much to be thankful for. I need a shift within myself.
I need to love myself enough to discover my real self.
And that's when everything began to positively change in my life.
Grateful. When my sister's “give my mind flowers” sentiment and the journal she gifted me sparked something that’s now become life-changing for many, myself included: MindFlowers ~ a compliment you give yourself or others to plant seeds of positivity and beauty in the mind.
Inspired. When this random, small act of intentionally gifting myself MindFlowers began strengthening my self-belief, helping me recognize my intelligence, appreciate my abilities, and lay clear that I needed to embrace change — because I felt for the first time in a long while an electric surge of possibility.
Overjoyed. When I met my first life coach. I knew I needed someone to hold me accountable to my own thoughts and desire to change. To champion me as I took action and made shifts for myself. I didn’t need a prescription, I needed perspective. Someone to encourage me out of my own shadow into the light of reality and knowing that my head and my heart could live in harmony, not conflict.
Excited. The day I signed up for the leading UK coach training school, Barefoot Coaching, knowing I’d embarked on something I’d chosen, something that felt beautifully right and would allow me to help others. I went on to obtain a Postgraduate Certification in Personal & Business Coaching (ISCED Level 7), and I operate as a member of the International Coach Federation.
Humbled. At furthering my training, learning to guide others into developing a rich mindfulness practice - and learning from Buddhist Nun, Emma Slade (Ani Pema Deki), founder of Power the Mind and author of 'Set Free: A Life-Changing Journey from Banking to Buddhism in Bhutan', whose wisdom continues to enhance my life and personal practice today.
Amazed. When hundreds of people all over the world started paying themselves #MindFlowers and an unexpected #MindFlowerMovement took hold in response to a talk I gave. I’d not shared the concept of MindFlowers publicly. I was floored at how painfully universal negative self-talk and low self-esteem really is & at how powerfully MindFlowers can help.
Happy. Messy. Silly. Loud. Quiet. Strong. I have the same human brain that responds to all the same human experiences of life & its beautiful chaos as yours. But I also understand myself now, recognize my triggers, and I’m able to open up my personal tool kit when I need to come back to myself. Sassy and edgy, stylish and indulgent, that’s how others experience me, and I can now wholeheartedly say myself — my real, authentic, complete, perfectly imperfect, glorious self — included.
We’re at the very centre of our worlds, so the way we see, speak, and think about ourselves shapes our entire existence. As a coach, I help people see themselves more clearly, like themselves more powerfully, and positively change their lives.
“The only way I can describe Victoria’s style of coaching is like the sun coming out on a cloudy day. The warmth she conveys and the positivity she exudes can literally transform your world. I cannot recommend Victoria highly enough. She is incredibly calming, full of poise and uses carefully considered questioning techniques to bring about real self-awareness.”
- Annie. Devon, UK -
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