YOU PROBABLY HAVE SOME QUESTIONS
let's answer them now
There can be confusion around what coaching really is - it's often confused with being a type of therapy, but coaching actually picks up where therapy or counselling finishes. Coaches don't work on past trauma - we acknowledge the past, and use it as a catalyst for the future. It's like a friendly helping hand towards your next steps and beyond.
We often don't know how to build our new future given our previous life experiences and that's exactly where coaching steps in and why it's so powerful.
The godfather of coaching, Sir John Whitmore describes it as this . . .
"Building awareness, responsibility and self-belief is the goal of a coach"
Which sits beautifully with Timothy Gallwey's definition that . . .
"Coaching is unlocking a person's potential to maximise their own performance; helping them to learn rather than teaching them"
Both quotes highlight beautifully that coaching is all about unlocking the power within you rather than telling you what to do, or how to do it. We work on the premise that you have all the answers given that you are the expert in your own life.
Put simply, a coach meets you where you are. You then discover the next steps together using the power of your own mind by building strong mental wellness habits. It's a privilege to know we collaborate with you - your own personal supporter and advocate if you like.
Personal and professional coaching is all about goals. All of us are essentially one being and breakthroughs in any single area of life has a wider impact on us as a whole.
Coaching typically is about:
• Defining goals.
• Formulating a plan that will use your goals.
• Holding you accountable for progress.
• Providing structure, encouragement, and support.
• A focus on the future rather than the past.
Coaching focuses entirely on your own behaviours. It doesn't teach you how to be the architect of other people's lives.
When you use coaching as a tool for your own future, it's important to understand you're not doing this to change or control the people around you, but the people around you will change their behaviour towards you because you are now different with them.
It's about self-awareness and the ability to respond to your own situations beautifully.
Your surroundings improve because you are more in tune with yourself, your values and your boundaries.
As a coach, I hold space. A safe, judgement-free space that gives you room to think and speak freely.
Through listening clearly and really hearing you, I can then help you move into a place of getting unstuck.
For example, we may identify some limiting beliefs and find a way to break through them so they aren't blocking you anymore, or look at reasons why Imposter Syndrome creeps in the more successful you become and discover ways to move past those feelings.
By using a positive, enquiring approach we build upon the positive as opposed to starting from a premise of what's wrong. Therefore, I champion you! I believe wholeheartedly in your abilities.
Generally, there are six distinct stages of a coaching agreement including:
• Contracting & rapport building - this part is to make sure we're the right fit.
• Identifying needs - this is to highlight the areas we are about to put our attention to.
• Goal setting - what would you like to achieve?
• Development or action plan - your unique programme of work.
• Support practices - how you can effectively maintain your new ways of living in real life.
• Follow-up & evaluation - to see how you've progressed and how you now feel!
As powerful as coaching is, it's not a silver bullet.
We're building new automatic pathways for your brain and for those to embed and become natural takes both time and commitment. It's about small, daily changes to your usual lifestyle which will bring big results.
These changes are mostly recognised during times of self-reflection and you realise how different a situation played out compared to your old expectations. Like any intervention, these things take time.
Metaphorically, if you were to experience a physical issue such as a broken bone, the process involves the initial diagnosis, the right treatment to heal the break, then a period of time for physiotherapy to make sure it's healed fully and to rebuild strength.
With a physical ailment it's easy to see when the problem is healing, so progress is tangible, but please know that your mental wellness is also improving; with psychological work the measures of improvement lie in self-reflection and self-realisation rather than being something you can see changing daily in the mirror.
For a one to one approach, typically I work with people over a period of 6 to 12 months and this does vary depending on each person's needs.
Your coaching programme is designed to cover the issues you bring to our initial session, however over time if you feel there is more you'd like to unpack, programmes can be extended.
The most important thing is to accept that long-term benefits happen over time and this is different for everyone. The key to your success is making room in your life for consistent, daily choices.
The relationship between us plays a huge part in the success of your coaching. The rapport we have isn't something you should compromise on and neither will I. You should feel absolutely safe; able to think and speak freely.
Our relationship is one of trust, confidentiality, and reciprocity. In this environment; change, development or improvement of a behaviour, attitude or skill will occur.
Feeling safe in our match is important so you know you can be free to explore, envision possibility and play with ideas free from judgement or opinion.
In this environment of safety, I will provide high-quality listening and focused enquiry and at times, advise or recommend specific actions, practises or exercises as appropriate.
Typically I don't tell you what, or how to do something. My role is one of exploration and supporting you to discover, or uncover, or expand your own ability to navigate the desired change. Your changes will work because they resonate with you and you get to go at your own pace. This is your agenda alone and remember, everyone goes at their own tempo.
My commitment to you is to be patient, supportive and self-aware. I remain purposefully detached so I'm able to see your position clearly and interpret what I'm seeing and deliver feedback in the most constructive way. I promise to always show up fully, to always be right with myself through my own personal development and to remain curious about your situation.
I won't look at your life through my own lens ~ this is all about you.
This is a very good question (and one I know a lot of you don't like to ask in person).
Some coaches do offer a by-the-hour service and will have many clients a day through their doors and this works well for them & their approach. As I mentioned before, we're all different.
My approach is by tailored programmes and there are a few reasons why I do this:
• I only work with a handful of people at any given time. For me, this is personal. I love working with every one of my clients and this comes with a dedication to your needs. If I need to carry out specialist research for your situation, this comes with the territory. I'm fully committed to each of you and this bears an emotional and physical responsibility to show up for you fully and in the most effective way.
• We both commit to an agreed coaching outline. This ensures our appointments are scheduled in advance with person-centred plans for between sessions. It means our plans can evolve over the duration of our time working together and it remains all about you.
• It brings flexibility for our work together. It may be necessary to adjust how long the current session is, or in some cases, add an extra one or two into the plan. By having a programme, you're safe in the knowledge you're not going to be hit with another bill because you need more time, or if an extra session needs to be scheduled in.
• There's room for some extra contact. If we need some contact between sessions such as check-ins or catch-up calls, these are included as laid out in our coaching agreement. We all respond to change in our own way and accountability can play a big part in your success.
• You are fully committed to the process. Coaching can sometimes be front-heavy in terms of breakthroughs, and for some, they come later. By committing to a programme both from a time and financial perspective, we both know you're going to show up fully every time. Life gets busy and when we start to feel ok and like we're making some progress, it's tempting to neglect the work you set out to do and not achieve it fully. By committing to a programme, you're committing fully to yourself.
• You're not paying solely for 'time in the room'. As part of my commitment to keeping my standards high, I'm a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and as part of this, I commit to levels of continued development. Your fee reflects the costs involved with staying at the forefront of education and therefore you know you're getting a coach who remains perpetually learning.
Coaching is free from cultural, geographic, racial, gender and age profiles.
It requires a wholehearted approach and each person entering into a coaching programme responds differently, but know the more you're willing to be cracked open and able to look at your own self through the lens of self-development and kindness, the more effective it will be.
I provide simplistic solutions to complex situations, therefore, coaching is not necessarily appropriate for you if you're undergoing a psychological intervention through the form of psychotherapy, counselling or are being treated for addictions, depression, an eating disorder etc. These factors may underline an inability to make changes at this time; but it's worth remembering this is just a moment in time and once your current treatment means you're in a position to move forward, coaching may be the next valuable step into your future.
Coaching does come with a daily time commitment. The steps you'll be taking involve a daily practise, so the ability to make some time for yourself each day for homework such as self-reflection through meditation, journalling or other methods will be necessary.
An important question to ask yourself is if you're prepared to try new methods and if so, can you make the time necessary for this investment in yourself.
I like the sound of it. How can I get started?
Well, that's simple; head over to my work together page and see whether you'd like to work with me in person or take a look around my blog for more on personal development. You can sign up to my mailing list at the bottom of the home page too so you'll get the articles sent to you once a month.
I work with a limited number of people at any one time so email me via the contact page to see what availability is like. We can set up a call to see if we make that important connection and if we do, it's as easy as booking in your first session.
I work with people from all over the world so coaching via video call or phone is typically how I work. All you need is an internet connection and we're good to go. Alternatively, if you're UK-based we can meet in person by prior arrangement.